Depression, grief, despair – a catastrophe or a blessing?

Can negative feelings, as depression, grief, despair, anxiety be something positive?

Yes they can. We use to treat negative feelings as something unwanted, something we just want to get rid of.

Basic approach

Basic approach to these feelings, by people who experience them, is a notion, that something is wrong with the world, with their situation, with other people who hurt them, etc.  Outside hurts them.

“I must do something with that” – you will hear. “There is no future for me”. “None wants me” etc.

Our attention, in that experience, is focused on outside circumstances, that (we think) causes these harmful feelings. So:

  1. We observe that something bad hurt us.
  2. We are focused on that cause.
  3. We want to change that cause, that is outside us.
  4. Sometimes we start to struggle, to make that change.
Something is wrong with us.

All of this is mainly wrong. Because, negative feelings are just signals, symptoms, that indeed something is wrong, but not with the world, other persons behavior or our situation. Something is wrong with us.

It is unacceptable message. You just can’t bear it. You are depressed, hurt, you feel pain, and additionally it means that there is something wrong with you? Oh no! There something wrong with them! With that world. With that cruel and stupid people! That is the reason of my pain!

Let’s be honest. You can believe what you want. But this… above is generally a… you know what. A rubbish.

 It comes from within you

Negative feelings are clear signals that something inside you, inside your mind, works wrong. Because there is only one possible source of these feelings… And yes, it is You.

Every feeling you feel, comes not from anything outside you. It comes from something within you. And… yes, you can’t see the source of that feelings. Nonetheless it is you, it is something within you, that creates them – all these emotions you are aware of. If you observe (feel) bad symptoms, this means that “organ”, you were not aware of,  works in a wrong way, that processes inside you are out of ease and natural state.

You don’t have to get rid of symptoms. It is ridiculous. They are useful. They are informations. You want to get rid of information, that something is going wrong? Are you serious?

Instead being depressed

So instead being frightened, depressed by these feelings, you may be grateful for them. Because they can teach you, that a) there is something within you, that creates them, b) something is going wrong inside you, because effects are unpleasant.

You may now think, what is wrong? What is wrong with your deepest convictions? What is wrong with your attitude? You may work, on these subjects.  But… it is another topic, and it is late – so… the message is – you don’t have to feel bad, regardless circumstances. There is absolutely no need for this.

It is not true, that outside objects and events causes (gives you) negative emotions, you experience. They barely trigger the (hidden) mechanism in you. It is the inner mechanism, that gives you your emotions. This complex of deep beliefs, convictions, attitudes and habits. And this complex has been built wrong, if you experience something negative. That’s the information you can reject or accept.

You make yourself hopelessly depended

Most of the time, you probably conditioning your emotional state with some specific shape of reality: I’ll be happy, satisfied, glad if… It would be disastrous, unfair, unbearable if

In that way, you establish your own trap, your own treadmill, your own chamber of torture and a room of delight. And then, focused with all you strength, taking all your power, you try to achieve that desired situation, that “righteous” state of things, that “gives” you happiness. You make yourself hopelessly depended. You just put yourself in most dire and pitiful situation.

You are not God

Don’t be afraid. You can still love, long for and miss something and someone. Just not to the extend, that is, in fact, a dismal try to play God’s role. You can do all of this, straight from your heart. With no fear, no hesitation, fully engaged. Because you are not God. You are in his hands. What maybe you missed out, from the beginning  🙂

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